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Seven Universal Truths About Relationships

You’re human, stop hiding your emotions. Seriously, what are you doing?

You got into a relationship, only to hide your emotions from the person you want to be with? Just leave it. If you don’t trust your heart to be in their hands, then you’re not ready.

Peaks Journal

Passion and romance are popular topics on social media. Everyone has their opinions on what creates a healthy relationship. Everyone also has an opinion on what people should do in relationships. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but opinions that perpetuate toxic behavior are not good.

RelationshipsNeedWork.

If you think relationships are supposed to work like magic, then you’re too young to be in a relationship. Even if you’re fifty, and you have this mindset, you should wait a few years.

Seriously, though, relationships take work and investment in money, time, and emotions (not in that order). If you don’t have the patience for that kind of investment, don’t waste your time, or others.

There’s also nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a committed relationship, as long as you let your partner know beforehand.

BeMindful.

Relationships aren’t always 50/50. We’re all human, and the one thing…

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When I hated You

You made me hate you
Curse your name and
wish death upon the same

You taught me things
How to hate, manipulate
Bend and twist my foes.

You taught me this
Through delicate manipulation
Desire and temptation

With a twitch of your finger
You twisted my soul, bent my will
Until you had the control.

I was sound asleep
Within those thorny, gentle arms
Hypnotized, awake but unalarmed.

Remember that day?
I woke up in pain
And was never the same.

Horrified, I tore myself away
I spit in your face, cursed your name
Swearing that you’d be the one I’d maim

I vowed I’d be the who ends you
Imagined ways of making you pay
Starting with that first day.

From the start, you were a snake
A ghoulish monster sporting
Human flesh, you were fake

I used to blame myself
How didn’t I see?
But it wasn’t my fault, I was naive

All naïveté is
Is having trust in a person
That doesn’t deserve it.

It took a long time
But I know that now
I accepted it, somehow.

You made me hate you
Curse your name and
wish death upon the same

But again, I woke up
Not horrified, or afraid
But with the knowledge you had already paid

You’re broken inside
Left for dead on the road
Without me, you have no home.

But I don’t pity you
You don’t deserve it
Your status in life is a perfect fit.

A coward lives
As a coward dies.

CREDIT: The gif was created by Xavier Lopez.

Exploring Satanism with ‘The Lazy Satanist’

The following is a brief interview with a Satanist I spoke to last week. The Lazy Satanist encourages people to visit the Church of Satan’s website for more detailed information.


Who are you?
I prefer to let my dumb posts speak for themselves, but I’m no one in particular.

A post from The Lazy Satanist’s Official FB Page. 

What is satanism to you?
It’s an ethos which guides what I owe to myself and to others.

How does your form of satanism differ from other satanists?
My particular flavor of Satanism is more of a philosophy than religion. Other Satanists may place more importance on the rituals as laid out by Anton LaVey in his original texts, but I don’t find them particularly useful. Instead, I focus more on the guidelines for personal conduct and introspection.

What is a common misconception about Satanists and Satanism?
A lot of people think Satanism is the same as devil worship; that Satanists are out there, looking for children to sacrifice, or that we are aggressively dangerous.

Consent is important in Satanism. A practicing Satanist would not harm anyone unless they explicitly asked for it, or they attacked the Satanist in some way – we absolutely do not turn the other cheek.

In general, we reject the teachings of the Christian church as dangerous and harmful to its followers, which many people misconstrue as a rejection of any ethical or moral standards. Satanism specifically condemns unprovoked and undeserved violence and aggression.

How long have you identified as a Satanist?
When I actually got a copy of the Satanic Bible and read the core tenets, I realized I’d always naturally been drawn toward those values. That’s been about four years or so ago now.

Do you have daily, weekly or monthly devotionals, like prayer, offerings, etc?
Black Mass is supposed to be performed for special occasions where ceremony would be appropriate – weddings, baptism, funerals, etc., but there’s no real devotional schedule.

Since each Satanist is their own god, each day one is true to one’s self and behaves according to one’s own will, you might call that an offering or devotional.

Can you describe your practices?
In the interest of brevity, it’s probably more useful to briefly outline the core beliefs about what to strive for and what to avoid:

People are animals and aren’t above any other beast in the natural world, except by virtue of our cunning, which makes us capable of cruelty unseen in other animals.

One should seek physical, material, and mental satisfaction. Abstinence leads to personal misery and spiritual stagnation.

Love deeply those who deserve your love, and forsake those who would be emotional parasites. Do unto others as they do to you.Value wisdom and truth and be especially wary of self-deceit.

What would you like people reading this to know?
Satanism is basically atheism with heavy-metal trappings. We believe in no theological deity, but worship our own, individual potential. If you have questions, just ask!

What is being apart of the Satanist community like?
The Satanist community is pretty warm and open. We are supportive because we choose to be, not because of any obligation. Unlike most other religious communities, there’s no pretense or holier-than-thou posturing. If a Satanist says they’re your friend, you can believe it.

Your page, the Lazy Satanist, what’s it about?
The Lazy Satanist is about goofing around and having fun with popular misconceptions of Satanism and the occult. Jokes about warlocks and demons are fun for the whole family!


If you have more questions, direct them to me below, or ask The Lazy Satanist directly. “Exploring Satanism” doesn’t end with this article. 

Stamped

by Blue_Notebook


Their bodies have gone soft, almost on the verge of melting down like burnt candles. Look! See that one melt with a smile on his face as if folly became he.

Rivet your gaze and witness! The melting of a thousand souls in this bright room swarmed by the strongest tempest.

What is it that a voice so faded has longed enough to utter? Bear with me for my hearing is clogged with blood coming from the mouth of my thoughts.

Ah! Poison you say? Is it indeed poison that a tongue deprived of nudity suffers to howl?

Eyes! My dear normality! Eyes must and are meant to stay wide open for such poison to finally take the form of words.

Hear now! Say, what is it indeed that they whisper to your senses? Focus! And pray for it not to be, “The reign of coffins.”

Light! Painful in the perception of the mad! Extinguish such torture for they who crawl and they who walk are meant to roam under the hands of darkness. It pains them to be seen and to see.

For such spectacle is indeed not for the living nor for the dying. Only those who are in between are given the opportunity to enjoy and peruse the roughened surface of this place.

Behold and tense not in the sight of the damned and the chained!

It is but a comedy to the blind and a fantasy to the insane. The endless pursuit of the decapitated for the cliff of oblivion; their hands imprinting death on their paths as they strive for wings. But what misfortune it is to find themselves flying with their bones as a parachute!

None but I and the others who belong with my category have arrested such sight without any contempt. There is no room for one when we acknowledge the beauty of such exit.

The ravens flew with their golden wings, as gray hands with dead fingernails draw themselves outward, though chained to the beckoning voice of a moth. But a moth it is not. For that is my– our, freedom. The only door remaining for us to exit upon.

And yet, must I do it. My body must suffer from decapitation too the way the rest of us did. It is true that I have been known as the warrior o’ old. A fighter who battles with life in order to be with my beloved death at all cost.

I long for its embrace, for its touch upon my skin, for the thrill of its words as my pieces gather before it. There I will run, naked and free from those shackles.

Lift them higher! Ah! Run fast! For life might get you back and the chains might get thicker. And yet such is a vision, a stupor in pity for the rheum my eyes have produced.

Phantasms, if given power, can surpass the capabilities of a phantasmagorical event. And I dare but elude the possibility of my being freed and at last, be rid of such a lurid place full of cretins.

So I reach for more, this time my hands grapple on the chains placed on my aching wrists. Then lo! A crack, long and deep, red tinctured, appeared under my arms.

Continue! Pull! See the overflowing success as I dissipate from such a horrible place. Ah! The sensation of being lifted is overwhelming. Here I have stayed, in this gloomy place inhabited by bleakness. Now I am winning my freedom.

Pull! Pull and see from my cracks the redness of my amorphous life as it flows towards death. Drain it all out until I am but a liquid crawling toward my beloved.

At last, with one last drop of strength, I pulled myself out. No longer am I chained, no longer am I seen, no longer am I suffering. To the caress of death I go, stamped with victory, tired and in need of the abyss endless where I can lay, drifting in its recesses without rue.


“This Is America”: A New Way of Celebrating 4th of July

by JT
Artwork: by JT

Donald Glover, an artist who once again, earned true respect from his work.

I’ve always thought Donald Glover/ Childish Gambino is a modern-day genius. Comedy, writing, acting, rapping, singing, directing, dancing…you name it. He is always the one with a different perspective, he has always rapped about content that is unique to him. I cannot compare Donald Glover with any other artist out there. He has always been delivering us amazing art, with real philosophical thought, within the midst of the American popular entertainment. He recently dropped a new hit song, This Is America, which started many discussions and inspirations.

‘This is America’s particular arranging style shows strong contrast, in the purpose of storytelling. The choice of the structure made the music stand out immensely. The Afro-folk inspired melody goes into a direct pivot of trap music. Not your traditional choice, but it enhances the plot, and confirms the theme. This song was written with thought, and the video, directed by Hiro Murai, brought the story into an even higher level, wonderfully showcasing beauty and the gruesomeness.

The Distractions

The line that got to me the most was:

“Look how I’m geeking out,

I’m so fitted,

I’m on Gucci,

I’m so pretty,”1

Along with the dance moves, and right after a shooting scene, these lines came out representing the distractions of popular social media. “Look How I’m geeking out”, referring to the uprising nerd culture, the increase fandom and popularity of DC, Marvel, and Anime, Gaming and such. “I’m so fitted”, the  work out and body obsession culture. “I’m on Gucci”, a reference in the big brand world, obsession in clothing and fashion. “I’m so pretty”, this is simple, but to me I thought of the “beauty face promotion campaign” on social media. It’s a made-up term by myself. Many Instagram models or just Instagram based famous people started this. They will post a picture of their face or their body, then talk about a random topic, the topic is sometimes serious, sometimes light, however, all completely unrelated to the nature of the picture. Pure showcase of the “pretty” but with no real content. All of these, are distracting the world from the violence, the racism, and the dysfunction in America.

The Dance

The choreography, coinciding with the story, stunned many viewers. As Aida Amoako stated from the article “Why the Dancing Makes ‘This Is America’ So Uncomfortable to Watch”:

“An internal struggle begins in the viewer’s body, which is pulled between joy and horror. Just as the video questions how we can dance when there is pandemonium all around, the audience struggles with whether to continue moving, too, after witnessing such brutality,”2

I agree with this quote, because that was exactly my reaction to the video. How can we dance? How can we enjoy? Many artists pander to their audience, but ‘This Is America’ is challenging us, making us think, research, and helping us form our voice

The SNL Debut

I first watched the debut of the song on SNL (Saturday Night Live, popular late-night variety show on NBC). Only two words came up in my mind- True Artist. My personal opinions on most SNL performances are usually negative. The mixing of the music are always off, and the performances usually have a lack of creativity. However, Donald Glover had real aesthetic consideration and artistic creativity for his performance. The lighting combined with his dance was surreal. It really brought the viewers to a perplexing beautiful visual. At the same time, the lights looked like chains, constraining him, befitting the story of the song. The performance delivered strong visual impact that I have not seen other artists do on SNL.

The Symbolization

Growing up in China, the summation of the image of America to us was: Everybody holding hands, smiling, and attending Harvard. But at the same time partying hard, enjoying freedom.

How surreal! Donald Glover teared this fake ideology apart, but also representing the face under the mask at the same time. Great art goes beyond dimensions.

With acknowledgement of many historical references and references of major events that had happened in the U.S., I also saw Childish Gambino representing the madness of America. Donald Glover’s portrayal of a man executing an innocent black man and a black choir, and the showcase of indifference throughout the song, are all different ways of symbolizing the madness of the United States. The end of the music video, Donald Glover running away from cops almost implies a sense, which the authorities are attempting to hide the true nature of The United States.

There are many people making brilliant analysis, from the Director of ‘Dear White People’, Justin Simien, to Jim Crow Historian, David Pilgrim. Pilgrim’s comment caught my eye, he called ‘This Is America’ a “Harsh indictment of indifference”3, how true. This is definitely a song with many layers and recommended to watch multiple times.

The Reason

At the 2018 Met Gala, reported from E! Live from the Red Carpet, Donald Glover gave the best and most accurate summation of the song, and why he made the song.

He said: “I just wanted to make a good song, something that people can play on 4th of July.”4

Digging through the ocean of analysis’, opinions, historical references, I find that the artist’s own simple words said it all. How funny, and direct, but truly gets to the point. This is the song that is really representing the true detachment of America, tearing apart the facade, challenging the image of America to the world. So of course, people should play it on 4th of July.

The Retirement

Although it’s sad that Donald Glover said Childish Gambino is retiring after the new album is out, but ‘This is America’ is definitely a shocking and brilliant start of his last album. Truly worth a listen and watch. I cannot wait for the complete album to come out.

 

 

Related Links:

  1. Amoako, Aida. “Why the Dancing Makes ‘This Is America’ So Uncomfortable to Watch.” The Atlantic, 8 May 2018,  http://theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/05/this-is-america-childish-gambino-donald-glover-kinesthetic-empathy-dance/559928/
  2. Childish Gambino, Lyrics to “This is America”, 2018
  3. Craven, Julia. “Donald Glover’s ‘This Is America,’ Through The Eyes Of A Jim Crow Historian.” The Huffington Post, 9 May 2018, http://huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-glover-this-is-america-jim-crow-history_us_5af31588e4b00a3224efcc40
  4. YouTube, YouTube, 7 May 2018, http://youtube.com/watch?v=P1IqMsPMcqM
  5. Original Blog Post: http://discoverwithjt.com/2018/05/13/this-is-america-a-new-way-of-celebrating-4th-of-july/

Best Korean Skincare Products

My good friend was recently looking for writers for her blog; she came to me because I have been living in South Korea for over a year and plan to stay indefinitely. People always (actually only sometimes) told me, “You’re funny in a weird kind of way, do you have a blog?” or “Do you use Tumblr?” sometimes as an insult sometimes as a compliment. I thought about it, but I never really gave it a shot until now. A lot of people in different countries have shown an interest in Korean skincare so that’s where I’m going to start.
Alright so first, a little background information on my skin because everyone is different and it’s good to know where someone is coming from. I have incredibly sensitive skin. If I use normal laundry soap, and use the rinse cycle on a washer twice, I will get chemical burns everywhere my clothes touch. For skincare, I avoid anything with harsh chemicals, fragrances, silicone, dimethicone, or anything similar. If I use those I break out so much that I’m practically human bubble wrap. I also have combination skin that leans toward more dry than oily these days so I need moisture but not thick moisturizers.
There are a lot of Korean skincare brands out there so today I’m just going to introduce you to my two favorites.
First, I love Primera. Their products are made without preservatives so you have to use it up within a few short months before it goes bad. If you use it every day, you will run out of it while it is still good. They have different lines for different skin concerns. I mainly use the sensitive skin line.

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As you can see, my cleanser is nearly empty and has traces of black body soap on it. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that and let you try to clean the smudge off your monitor or phone screen. It is about $8 and one tube lasts about 4 months. It smells amazing and it says it’s a cleansing foam but it is more like a cream cleanser. There are two varieties of this cleanser and I suspect the other one is foamier if that’s what you’re into. It’s really gentle and my face doesn’t feel tight after I use it. It’s my favorite cleanser ever because of the way it makes my skin feel.

Next, this toner is part of the sensitive skin line. They use silver birch buds in this line which is great because it makes me feel like a fancy lady elf from the Lord of the Rings. Even though it’s a toner it is not drying at all. It takes any leftover makeup or dirt out of your pores gently.

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Next I use the concentrate. This is kind of like a serum. It has a higher dose of the main ingredients and soaks right into the skin. It has a tiny pump so you just press down and get the right amount, no bottle droppers and mess. When your skin is a complete disaster, this is pretty good at taming it.

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Then I like to use this serum. It’s got a kind of milky consistency and color. It’s thicker than milk though, more like the thin yogurt they sell here (I don’t know why Korean yogurt is more watery but it is).
They do make a moisturizer too but I don’t use it. It’s got great ingredients but it’s just too thick for me, it’s like a hand cream. They used to make an absolutely amazing moisturizer that was the best gel moisturizer ever made, but for some reason they quit making it.

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Their masks are also good, the linseed one is the only one that does not have dimethicone or some kind of plastic in it. It is made for “problem skin” which means it’s good if you get pimples. It is a sheet mask with a decent amount of serum and the smell is pleasant. Even though they use a lot of plant ingredients, everything smells fresh and light not deep earthy herbal medicine like. Honestly it’s pretty good but not the most moisturizing. I’ve heard their other masks are good too so if you can handle dimethicone and ingredients like that you might want to give them a shot if you don’t have any pimple problems (you horrible person).

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I also got a couple samples of their firming cream and eye cream and they’re both great too. They smell incredible, kind of sweet and nutty, and they absorb well. Since coming here and rapidly aging from stress (haha…hello tiny lines and bags under my eyes) I’ve started to try to use more eye creams. This one makes everything moisturized and makes it look like my under eyes are smooth. It even looks like I slept well, but after a while it goes back to normal so I’m not sure if it actually does much of anything other than moisturizing and improving appearance for a little bit.

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The other brand I like is Innisfree. They use a lot of natural ingredients from Jeju, an island in Korea. It is also generally cheaper and lasts longer than Primera.

I use the green tea oil cleanser every night before the broccoli cleanser. I’ve been double cleansing since I first heard about it and highly recommend it. I bought the gommage mask because it is the only one I had seen that uses plant cellulose to make it gelly instead of plastic-y stuff. Basically for this type of mask, you put it on and instead of peeling it or just washing it off, you rub it around in little circles. Honestly I’m not sure if it works that well for exfoliating or anything, it’s just fun to make tiny gel balls.

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So what masks do they make that DO work well? THESE!!! The purifying one is especially amazing. Usually clay masks dry my out like an airplane ride but these don’t. The yellow clay one is kind or runny and it’s not really brightening, but the black one is thick and it is fantastic. They come in purple, white, and other colors as well. If you’re going to buy just one of the colors, I recommend the black one, it is definitely the best.
Last I have a sort of honorable mention. This was one of the first Korean skincare products I ever used.

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Is that snail slime? Yes, yes it is. I have put sticky, sticky snail slime all over my face. I have played with the stringy goodness and the sound that it makes (something like walking across the room with gum on your shoes). I don’t use it regularly anymore but it is pretty good. I used to use it when my skin was more oily and it was good at moisturizing without clogging up my pores.

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I’m planning to go to a Korean dermatologist within the next couple weeks to try to get rid of some very old and stubborn acne scars so I can update you on treatments and costs of those kinds of things if you’re interested. Feel free to write suggestions for future topics, I’m willing to talk about anything from different brands of chips to international dating to why you should never become a teacher to household appliances. Whatever is relevant or interesting to you.

If you read all this or even skimmed through it, thanks for bearing with me and reading my first ever post.

Author
Seoul Searcher

Seven Universal Truths About Relationships

Passion and romance are popular topics on social media. Everyone has their opinions on what creates a healthy relationship. Everyone also has an opinion on what people should do in relationships. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but opinions that perpetuate toxic behavior are not good.

Relationships Need Work .

If you think relationships are supposed to work like magic, then you’re too young to be in a relationship. Even if you’re fifty, and you have this mindset, you should wait a few years.

Seriously, though, relationships take work and investment in money, time, and emotions (not in that order). If you don’t have the patience for that kind of investment, don’t waste your time, or others.

There’s also nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a committed relationship, as long as you let your partner know beforehand.

Be Mindful. 

Relationships aren’t always 50/50. We’re all human, and the one thing we all have in common is the fact that we make mistakes. We’re emotional creatures, whose hearts aren’t always in sync with our minds.

As a result, relationships may look like 30/70 or 60/40 sometimes. A relationship is a pact between you and that person, where you both agree to love and be there for one another when the other physically and mentally can’t.

If you’re partner breaks down, and drops their half, in that moment your love should automatically pick up their half.

Everyone Needs Space.

Credit: Free-Photos

Relationships are not a burden. Even though you need to be there for your partner, you shouldn’t have to be their fathers or mothers. They’re grown people, and the need for constant validation isn’t healthy.

If they blame you because they think you owe them constant validation, then you should leave. It’s not fun being in a relationship where you’re made to feel like an evil person every time you drop below their expectations.

Get Better Advice.

Credit: Robert E Blackmon

Leave your expectations at the door. This isn’t a fantasy, where all of your dreams come true. Relationships aren’t all about you, so don’t make it that way. I see this constantly on Facebook:

‘If he doesn’t send you good morning texts, throw him away.’ ‘If he doesn’t have you as the background to his phone, he’s cheating.’ ‘If he’s all about you, then he’s not going to have female friends.’

Where are these people getting their relationship advice from? And people wonder why “relationships on Facebook don’t last these days.” It’s because these people are getting their relationship advice from memes on Facebook. Come on. You’re 25, listening to a vague piece of thoughtless advice.

Be Honest about Your Emotions. 

Credit: FunnyJunk.com

You’re human, stop hiding your emotions. Seriously, what are you doing? You got into a relationship, only to hide your emotions from the person you want to be with? Just leave it. If you don’t trust your heart to be in their hands, then you’re not ready.

The point of a relationship is exploring each other’s darkest and deepest emotions, and enjoying the ride of life together.

If you stay, you both will just be unhappy.

Balance is Important.

Feel free to share this simple diagram.

In a world of individuality and independence, people who are needy and clingy often get labeled as bad people. It’s all about balance. If you always want to be around your partner, and they always want to be around you, what’s the problem?

I mean, as long as you guys get your work done and are functional enough to not die in each other’s arms from starvation, you’re good.

However, if you always want to be around them, and they think it’s annoying, that’s a problem. Either find someone who is like you, or respect your partner’s boundaries. Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

Refrain from Using Hurtful Language.

Credit: Takmeomeo

Arguments. They happen. We’re human. We’re not going to always agree and settle disagreements peacefully. Sometimes, passion gets the better of us.

A lot of people view arguments as a bad thing, but they’re not inherently bad. What matters during an argument are the things that are said and done. Love will stop you from saying anything hurtful. Love will also stop you from physically hurting your partner (no matter how much you imagine slapping them to next week). When angry, it’s best to use concise and clear language.

Instead of: “You’re always doing stupid things. You’re an ****.

Try: “I’m extremely upset with you and I want you to hear me out.

This only works if all concerned parties communicate in this way. Trust me, after the first successful argument that ends with solutions being made, you’ll practically love arguing.


Empathy Practice