To Have or not to Have?

Building a ‘Portfolio’ or Building a ‘Life.’

I woke up this morning a little hazy, but the first thing that came to mind was Peaks Journal. The second thing that came to mind was my recently published book, Evanescence: A Fairytale. These two things have been at the forefront of my mind for months, accompanied by general feelings of anxiety.

If you’re like me, with a mental to-do list in your head, then you may feel overwhelmed sometimes. There are times when you may want to throw in the towel, and just join the everyday hustle and bustle of life with a 9 to 5.

If you’re thinking those are pretty heavy thoughts to have as soon as your eyes open, then chasing your dreams may not be the thing for you. And that’s what I’d like to investigate a little here. I saw this meme as I was scrolling through my Instagram feed:


I immediately liked it, and commented on it. I decided to repost it with my own little interpretation which was this:

Repost via @live_out_lively :


This was my biggest internal issue during college. 😞People told me the exact experiences I needed to have in order to be on the path to becoming a lawyer, or ambassador. .


EVERYTHING was about experiencing something JUST to be seen as a qualified candidate for some job that would make a lot of money..😒


I realized, I wasn’t doing this for me. I wasn’t doing this to ENJOY these experiences. And I just stepped outta line, bc I want to do what makes me happy. I want experiences for the memories, not the money. 🤷🏾‍♀️it’s a long and hard road though. Chasing dreams isn’t glamorous. But it’s worth it. 🙌

A friend commented this:

Or both! Portfolio is nice! Big picture  😂

I appreciated the comment because it challenged the idea that spending your entire life chasing a dream may not be the best thing. It could be the wrong thing, in fact. Completely ignoring your resume in favor of a dream is considered crazy to most. To others, it’s not something that can be done, due to the circumstances surrounding their lives.

For me, following a dream is a really basic way of saying explore what life has to offer. Here’s why chasing a dream can be a bad thing:

  • You don’t know where you’re going.
  • You don’t know how long the journey is.
  • There is little financial security.
  • It may negatively affect your mental health.

When you decide to explore what life has to offer, that means you get up when the sun rises and dive into upcoming waves. You let the current take you to your destination, and you’re attuned to the wisdom of nature. The only guide you have is the idea of your dream, which doesn’t leave you with a map where an ‘x’ is marked for ease of travel.

Likewise, since there is no predetermined path, the amount of time you spend building your dream varies. The amount of time spent on your dream is dependent upon several arbitrary factors that relate to you and your life, like your finances.

Ah, financial security. If you’re a person who quit their job to pursue your dreams, then don’t expect much in the way of financial security. You’ll have to find unique and creative ways of coming up with the finances you need. You need ingenuity, for starters.

All of these factors can be bad for you, especially if you’re a naturally anxious person. Personally, I think it’s worth it. At the same time, your resume can be a great tool for this! So, like my friend said, don’t count it out. If you don’t like the idea of being at the mercy and whims of the journey toward your dream, you can build your portfolio and pursue your dreams this way.

I don’t think there is just one right or wrong answer. I believe that there is something for everyone, whether that means building both your life and resume, or just your life, or just the resume. I think it’s most important to do what feels most natural.

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